(warning... it might sound corny... but back then we were all still young and back then i didn't had the confidence nor the courage to approach this someone)
this letter was written to someone back in 1998... the letter never reached the recieving end:
Eyes moving left to right, focusing in then out again. All the while images of everything moving in and our of me... but only images of you stayed in my mind... these small glances at you makes me want to know you and understand you deeper; how do i want to approach you and just say a simple hello and let my imagination run wild and free... these actions of mine are not of those of a psycho... or a stalker... more likely... a person who just couldnt bring himself to approach you... maybe being left in that far corner and making these small glances at you would make me happier.
But this happiness is short lived, when you disappear from my view, that striking pain and that un-misunderstood-able *sigh* was released... You may not know who i am but that doesn't matter, i know who you are and that's all it counts... i may not know you well enough but that sufficient for me to find out and like you more. That desire and irresistiable pain everytime i think about you and pretending to ignore you when you are there...
No words nor phrase can express my feelings every moment you are around... except fear and love; Fear in a sense that you might reject this personal feeling that i'm presenting but at the sametime, my desire to hold you and love you this very moment.
Though i understand that there are many things that require chemistry in this world... but i believe that only strong desires within our souls is needed... you have your dreams and fantasies to fufill... i'm just asking for me to be given the chance; the oppotunity to be by your side so that i can help; and share with you the dreams and fantasies in your life.
Aug 1998
talked more trash @
9:25 AM
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Another cute pic of blythe doll ~ Chloe! Hope my skill will improve alot more as this is the first time I taken a picture of her.
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12:28 AM
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My Blythe Doll ~ Chloe
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12:25 AM
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It's me again..sharing my read.. ;p Now, you may find my read intriguing, or maybe too "cheem" for your understanding. But nonetheless, it's something that shakes me to my core and i wanna share..and i only wish...someone to understand me one day. It's actually very simple..In those solitary evenings . . . I opened up the kind of memory that feels like a wistful hankering for something lost or something that never was. I think most of us have it, this potentially destructive habit of mental record-keeping that builds, distorts, then breaks up and spreads into even the farthest flung territories of reason and consciousness.What we do is accumulate pain, collect it like cranberry glass. We display it, stack it into a pile. Then we stack it up into a mountain so we can climb up onto it, waiting for, demanding sympathy, salvation.‘Hey, do you see this? Do you see how big my pain is?’We look across at other people’s piles and measure them, shouting, ‘My pain is bigger than your pain.’”Marlena de Blasi “A thousand days in Venice”Now, it aint too bad..isn't it? All you had to do is to let it digest..i hope you feel what i feel.Quote: What am i to youSigning off,Ru
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2:29 AM
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